Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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