I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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