I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
