I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
