I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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