didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
