so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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