her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
