I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
