just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
