You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
