I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
