Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
