I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
