You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
