Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
