My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize