Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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