I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
