did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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