Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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