We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
