She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There r osticjed everywhere
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
