absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
