do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Actions speak louder than pants.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
