Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
