I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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