Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize