Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
