he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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