the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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