There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
