why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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