wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
