A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
