I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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