next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize