your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
