He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
