Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize