Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize