then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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