It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
