just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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