Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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