Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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