Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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