Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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