Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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