I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
