I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
