She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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