Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
BRING THE BAGELS
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
