if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
