Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
