i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
