Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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