You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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