Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
