Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
